I had my 20 week (5 month) Dr. appointment today-really I'm only 19 weeks, I am one week behind all of the milestones due to the doctor wanting to check me out after my first 1/2 marathon as a pregnant women when I was only 7 weeks, so starting then to see her every 4 weeks puts me one week behind always!
I admitted my craziness to Blake this past week, in which I will admit to all of you now! This may sound weird, negative, or even morbid, but I always feel a fear that she isn't there anymore. Usually about 2 weeks after an appointment I start to get worried that I have lost my sweet little girl. I just love her so much already and this seems way too good to be true at times. How lucky am I and how undeserving to have been blessed with this little life?!?! This happened this last month due to the fact I felt her move for the first time 3 weeks ago! Very early to feel her but it happened 2 other times since then. Once I didn't feel her for a week and a half I started to think I had lost her :( So I long for my doctors visits so I can hear that strong little heartbeat that puts my dream of a child, back into reality, she is really there and really inside of me. I have to say, I have wanted her for a long time, but new there were possible problems ahead. So to say I have been praying for many years for her, is no lie. So come to find out, I'm not the only crazy person with these thoughts!! YAY! I have had many friends tell me they thought the same or felt the same way. So when I told Blake, who I think thought I was insane, he just continued to reassure me everything was fine and she is there just maybe she is sleeping or being calm lately :)
Ok, back to appointment!! I gained a few pounds again!! YAY!!! This is understandable due to the fact I no longer throw up all of my food all day everyday anymore :) I am able to continue my active lifestyle, music to my ears!! No ultrasound today, but will get one the next visit in 4 weeks. So Payton and I both are doing great again!
Praise God for my little miracle in my belly!!
Yeah, for little Payton and mommy... Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteSara
I thought like that a lot with Sammy. It will be ok.have FAITH!! So glad you are doing so well!
ReplyDeleteHey Ryane...this is Carlotta...the Hintz's neighbor at the seminary...I don't know if you remember me at all! I found your blog through Mrs. Hintz's.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad everything is going well with little Payton!