Payton update

I had my 20 week (5 month) Dr. appointment today-really I'm only 19 weeks, I am one week behind all of the milestones due to the doctor wanting to check me out after my first 1/2 marathon as a pregnant women when I was only 7 weeks, so starting then to see her every 4 weeks puts me one week behind always!

I admitted my craziness to Blake this past week, in which I will admit to all of you now! This may sound weird, negative, or even morbid, but I always feel a fear that she isn't there anymore. Usually about 2 weeks after an appointment I start to get worried that I have lost my sweet little girl. I just love her so much already and this seems way too good to be true at times. How lucky am I and how undeserving to have been blessed with this little life?!?! This happened this last month due to the fact I felt her move for the first time 3 weeks ago! Very early to feel her but it happened 2 other times since then. Once I didn't feel her for a week and a half I started to think I had lost her :( So I long for my doctors visits so I can hear that strong little heartbeat that puts my dream of a child, back into reality, she is really there and really inside of me. I have to say, I have wanted her for a long time, but new there were possible problems ahead. So to say I have been praying for many years for her, is no lie. So come to find out, I'm not the only crazy person with these thoughts!! YAY! I have had many friends tell me they thought the same or felt the same way. So when I told Blake, who I think thought I was insane, he just continued to reassure me everything was fine and she is there just maybe she is sleeping or being calm lately :)

Ok, back to appointment!! I gained a few pounds again!! YAY!!! This is understandable due to the fact I no longer throw up all of my food all day everyday anymore :) I am able to continue my active lifestyle, music to my ears!! No ultrasound today, but will get one the next visit in 4 weeks. So Payton and I both are doing great again!

Praise God for my little miracle in my belly!!